The Power of Identity

Being diagnosed with an incurable disease is a strange experience. I entered my doctor’s office, they gave me the news, and then I left. Physically, I am the same person who walked in. And yet now, I feel… different.

Because in that short window, a new label was attached to me. Multiple sclerosis would now appear on medical forms, in conversations, in the back of my mind. It changed how I was described. From that moment on, I wasn’t just myself; I was someone with something. And that shift, though invisible to everyone else, altered the way I began to see myself.

We all carry a story about who we are – that we’re a parent, a professional, kind, intelligent, someone who keeps their word. These self-beliefs don’t just describe us; they influence what we say yes to, what we avoid, and how we show up in the world – often far more than we realise.

Our identity is the deepest, most personal thing about us; it is at the very heart of everything we do. The choices we make, the habits we build, and the paths we follow in life all flow from that sense of self.

So when a diagnosis enters the picture, it can begin to weave itself into that understanding, redefining the story we tell ourselves about who we are. But does this have to be the case? How does identity truly form, and what place, if any, should a disease hold within it?

Repeating an action creates an identity

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit” – Aristotle.

Change ‘excellence’ for any characteristic or identity, and the above statement still rings true – kindness, selflessness, discipline, resilience, consistency, patience, courage – they are all the result of repeated actions.

It’s the same principle behind the old saying: "Sow a thought and you reap an action; sow an act and you reap a habit; sow a habit and you reap a character; sow a character and you reap a destiny”.

The actions we repeatedly take make us who we are. No one is born motivated, disciplined, or resilient – who we are is made through our choices. We become someone who is resilient through repeatedly choosing to keep on going when times get tough, we become a kind person when we consistently choose to treat others with compassion, and we become someone who is courageous when we choose to face our fears instead of avoiding them.

The more we behave in line with our desired identity, the stronger we believe it to be true. As James Clear, the author of Atomic Habits, says: “Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.”

Building an Identity Promotes Action

The actions we repeatedly do – our habits – promote our identity. And in turn, the power of identity can be enormous on our future choices and actions.

A fascinating study from the University of Minnesota described what researchers called the “Batman Effect”. When children were asked to complete a boring task and resist the lure of an iPad game, those who imagined themselves as Batman (“Is Batman working hard?”) stayed focused nearly twice as long as those who thought in the third person (“Is Sarah working hard?”) or first person (“Am I working hard?”). By giving themselves the identity of someone disciplined and focused, they were better able to stay on track and ignore distractions.

Similarly, a study from Winona State University and the University of Wisconsin–Milwaukee showed that even simple shifts in self-perception - linking healthy actions to identity - can change behaviour. When people were asked to describe themselves using “do-er” phrases like fruit eater, veggie grabber, or less-sugar drinker, they went on to maintain and even improve their healthy eating over the next month. Those who only received standard nutrition advice, by contrast, slipped back into old habits. By seeing healthy choices as part of who they are, participants became more consistent and intentional in their actions.

Kobe Bryant, one of the greatest basketball players of all time, embodied this idea through the creation of his Black Mamba persona. He developed this alter ego to separate emotion from performance – to step onto the court as someone ruthless, focused, and unshakeably disciplined. The “Mamba” was not about pretending to be someone else, but about becoming the version of himself that could meet pressure with precision. Every training session, every game, and every recovery choice reinforced that identity until it became automatic.

And this is seen again and again. Performers and athletes deliberately step into identities that serve their individual purposes. Beyoncé becomes Sasha Fierce to access confidence and command the stage. David Bowie transformed into Ziggy Stardust to fully embody creative freedom. Conor McGregor adopted “The Notorious” to compete with unapologetic self-belief.

When we decide who we are, our actions fall into place. A weak person gives up. A lazy person never starts. A disciplined person shows up. A resilient person keeps going. When Muhammad Ali said, “I am the greatest, I said that even before I knew I was”, he wasn’t inflating his ego. He knew that the greatest boxer is he who works the hardest outside of the ring, and so, if he referred to himself as the greatest, then he would act in line with that identity.

Our identity sits at the core of everything we do. It’s the story we tell ourselves about who we are - and our actions rise to meet that expectation. When our actions reflect who we believe we are, effort turns into expression – we simply live out our identity.

Who I am

Over time, this creates a powerful feedback loop: our actions shape our identity, and our identity drives our actions. Each choice reinforces who we believe we are - and the stronger that belief becomes, the more naturally we express it through how we act.

But where does a disease fit into this?

When I stepped out of the neurologist’s office, a question floated across my mind: Is this the new me?

I started to view everything through the perspective of ‘someone with multiple sclerosis’. I began to see myself differently. But I realise now that this was just my perception. One that doesn’t serve me. One I didn’t have to keep.

If identity is built through the feedback loop of our actions and how we perceive ourselves, if it is a product of our choices, then the disease I happen to live with doesn’t have to play a central role in that, if I don’t want it to.

I haven’t chosen to have this disease; it wasn’t formed through my actions. I didn’t decide to have it. It is just the hand I am dealt, the insurmountable mountain I have to climb, the bad luck that I’ve received.

MS isn’t my identity. It has merely changed the path I am walking, not the person walking it. It is the challenge I need to rise to meet.

If my identity is a product of actions, then it is in my control. It isn’t shown through the disease I have, but through the choices I make - it is how I respond to it.

So, where to begin?

Author, investor, and former college athlete, Sahil Bloom, uses a mental model he calls the ‘Life Razor’ – a rule of thumb he uses for making decisions to ensure that he leads a life he can be proud of.

Sahil has a young son, and a really important goal for Sahil is to one day coach his son’s sports team. To be able to do that, Sahil must first be respected by his son, otherwise his son won’t want him coaching him and his friends, and he must be trusted by the community to coach their children.

And so, to achieve this goal, he must be the person who can accomplish it. Sahil must act in a way that continuously reinforces that identity.

How does he ensure this happens? Every decision he makes, he views through the lens: Am I being the sort of person who can coach his son’s sports team?

This means acting with high integrity so that he is respected and trusted by his son and the local community. It means choosing actions that align with that identity – showing patience, fairness, and consistency in all areas of life. It’s a constant reminder that his actions determine the kind of coach, father, and role model he becomes.

I use this same method when it comes to the person I want to be – someone who meets adversity with strength. I want to be the person who doesn’t give up, who doesn’t allow the difficulties of MS to change how I show up with kindness and positivity. Every choice – whether it’s to exercise, how I deal with daily frustrations, or how I treat others on bad days – becomes a reflection of that identity, through asking myself – Is this what a strong person would do? It’s not about forcing discipline or chasing perfection; it’s about acting in alignment with the person I want to be – someone who values kindness, resilience, and composure, no matter what happens.

This has been further strengthened by becoming a father. I now view my decision-making through a completely new lens – one that extends beyond myself. Every decision now carries the weight of example. My daughter will learn not only from what I say, but from what I do: how I treat others, how I handle stress, how I take care of my health, and how I navigate life’s difficulties. I want her to see me as an example of how to meet hardship with strength, giving her a foundation to draw on when she faces her own challenges.

So, when I’m faced with a decision – do I eat a meal heavily focused on high-sugar food, or effectively fuel my body and mind? Do I respond with patience and compassion, or anger and irritation? Skip the workout, or go to the gym? – I ask myself: am I being the person who I would want my daughter to look up to? Are these actions aligned with someone who chooses resilience, courage, and inner strength? These simple questions reframe everything. It shifts the focus from short-term comfort to long-term identity.

By changing what I do, I reinforce the person I want to be, and in turn, move closer to the life I want to lead. My identity isn’t a disease; it is the person who shows up to meet it.